You Can Have It All... Just Maybe Not All at the Same Time

Sacrifice.

Balance.

Compromise.

Priorities.

Patience.

I feel like, when we were young, our society gave us the message that anything is possible and that we have a right to live our dreams. While I think this is a sweet message of hope and rainbows, perhaps it outfitted my generation with an attitude of entitlement and unrealistic expectations for what adulthood, maturity, and the responsibility that comes with those dreams would mean as we grew up. I distinctly remember a conversation with an only-slightly younger family member as he was starting to pay for his own life insurance and other "adult" expenses. He said that being a grown-up kind of sucked because "things cost stuff." Honestly, I couldn't have summed it up better myself. And we're not just talking money. We're talking... well... stuff!

Through living my dreams, I've learned you can have the high paying job, the incredible husband, rewarding career, beautiful children, stunning figure, stable bank account, healthy social life, neat and tidy home, AND a closet full of lovely clothes. You can! You really, really can! And I've done it! But, I've done pretty much NONE OF IT AT THE SAME TIME.

I'm about to turn 30 and I have had it all. All of it. Right now, however, I'm not living with all components of that dream because "things cost stuff!" I've given up the high paying job for the one that's more fulfilling and leaves me home with my beautiful children for whom I've given up my rockin' bod and all those gorgeous clothes. My social life is still great but completely different from what it once was and my house is pretty much a mess 99% of the time because I'm so busy, happy, and active that I simply can't be bothered to dust the pollen from the pine trees off of every surface every other day AND pick up the playroom AND make our bed AND mop the floor under the table where Annabelle has decided to discard an entire pantry's worth of perfectly decent food.

I guess what I wish I would have understood earlier in life is that I really can achieve my dreams but there will be sacrifices and hard work along the way and I may have to give up in some areas in order to excel in others. There's a balance between priorities and a give-and-take between different aspects of life fulfillment and goals. And most of the time, you have to pay from one area in order to get what you want in another.

By the time it's important for my girls to grasp this concept, I sure hope I've figured out a better way of explaining it all without sounding like a Debby-Downer. I still want them to believe that anything is possible because I truly believe it is for them. But I want them to have realistic expectations of the world around them and the work they'll need to put in to get what they want, while they recognize that they CAN have it all... just maybe not all at the same time.... and that's perfectly alright. In fact, it's perfectly awesome.

Beechnut Goya Baby food Review

Disclaimer: #ad I was given products to sample in order to write this review and was compensated for my time. All opinions are my own.

Beechnut is a familiar name in baby food so when I was approached to try their new food, a joint effort with Hispanic food giant, Goya, I couldn't turn down the chance to try some conveniently pre-prepared baby food! You know I prefer to make our baby food around here but there are times when a jar or pouch is simply the easier, more convenient option!

From Beechnut/Goya, I received a couple of jars of their new flavors which include: Apple/Guava, Mango, Peach/Mango, and Carrot/Corn. I loved the diversity here as I've never seen commercial baby food with guava OR corn! I think it's brilliant to introduce fun, healthy new flavors to my baby so I was excited at the chance for her to try something new.

How did these new, authentic Hispanic flavors go over with my little one? Pretty well, actually!

My favorite part? The purees are nothing but fruit and water and a bit of ascorbic acid. No fillers, no sugar, no salt or food coloring. Almost as if I'd pureed it myself in the blender, the jarred food had a short, easy to read ingredient list which I felt good about.

And for some fun, here's Belle learning to feed herself!

Disclaimer: #ad I was compensated for my time and given these products to sample in order to provide readers with an honest opinion.

Fat Does Not Equal Weak

Recently, someone close to my family bullied my incredible husband, telling him that he obviously has no willpower and that is why he's overweight. This same person implied that both he and I are weak-minded and that is why we gained weight during my pregnancies and struggle to take off the weight now that our babies are growing older (they're now 1 and 2 and a half years old). This person said my husband has no will-power to resist the temptation of sweets and hence, he is fat.

That is crap and I feel the need to scream from the rooftops that FAT DOES NOT EQUAL WEAK!

Yes, my husband and I are overweight. I gained over 60 pounds when I was pregnant with Emmaline and Ryan gained 20. Why? Because I.was.pregnant! Fucking pregnant! After having starved myself for years, developing an eating disorder, I fed my body well and it held onto every last calorie during pregnancy and breastfeeding. I worked 60 hour weeks for the second half of that pregnancy and relied on frozen pizza and takeout more than I should have so my poor husband gained weight with me. After we had Emma, I didn't want to diet so as to ensure a healthy supply of breastmilk for my baby and we started working out hard when Emma was 6 months old. We slowly and safely lost weight together and then I got knocked up again.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Only this time, we had two under two. Annabelle literally woke up every 20 minutes all night long until she was 4 months old. Then, she was able to sleep for hour-long stretches until about 11 months at which point we finally did some sleep training that worked and she managed to get 3 hour sleep segments... and so did we. Did you read that right? Until a month ago, Ryan and I were up every 3 hours all night long for almost a year!

What happens to a person's body when they are sleep-deprived, especially for an extended period of time, is no secret. Science tells us that energy must come from somewhere so if we're not getting the rest we need, the fuel comes from food. My hubby and I are not eating dessert every night and we're not bingeing on junk food. We eat when we're hungry which happens to be frequently thanks to maintaining a milk supply (for me) and staying alert at home and at work (for him).

While we may not have had the energy or discipline to cut calories, eliminate sweets, or run 10 miles a week, we made time to take care of our children, our marriage, and our sanity. While the first year of parenthood often pushes spouses toward resentment and isolation, Ryan and I have never been closer. When I could have been running alone (albeit dangerously since I was too tired to safely drive most days, let alone run on concrete), I was nursing both my babies, sneaking in nooners with my husband, and crafting a writing and editing career out of this little blog of mine!

And for the record, my husband and I are holding onto quite a bit of pregnancy weight despite Annabelle being a year old. Wanna know why? Because we are way too happy and way too busy (and way too tired) to spend a single second worrying about calories, fat grams, and pounds on a scale. We live active lives, walking the dog and playing at the park every day, but we waste no amount of precious time or energy on food issues! Especially with a dark past of disordered eating, I feel more liberated now, despite my heavier frame, than I did when I felt "in complete control" of tracking my weight, waist measurement, and calorie intake.

Furthermore, want to talk about will-power and being weak? I avoided all dairy in my diet for over 6 months in order to best care for my baby. My husband volunteered to get up with Annabelle at every.night.waking so that I could rest and we could wean her off of nursing all night long. Despite not enjoying breastfeeding, I have nursed both of my children far past the national average in large part thanks to the support of their father. My husband and I are strong, happy, and determined. We're also fat.

Just because we are fat does not mean we are weak or lack will-power. When we are sleeping better and have a slightly more organized life, we'll need fewer calories to get us through the day and perhaps then we'll be ready to exercise hard again, together, as a family, and not for weight loss but for happiness, health, and to set a good example for our children.

Life is too fucking short to be worried about being fat.

CLOSED Target Giftcard Giveaway: How I Find New Music

Disclaimer: Target has gifted me with two gift cards, one for me and one to give away to a reader! In exchange, here you will find my honest opinions... because you know I never lie!

Content and/or other value provided by our partner, Target.

Target so kindly asked me to share with all of you my strategies for finding new music! In exchange, I get to give away a $25 Target giftcard! So, if you were wondering how we find new tunes to rock out to in the MoA household, this is the post for you!

You all know my hubby works in radio, yes? Well, while it's true he's in Sports Talk, believe it or not, there's still a ton of music involved in his job as a producer! If you listen to talk radio at all, you know that shows have what's called "bumper" music as the hosts go in and out of commercial breaks. Often times, these songs must suit the talent on the air as well as the show content and the overall niche for the station. The husband produces the afternoon drive show so the music is usually fresh, new, and borrowed from one of their "sister" stations, a "today's hottest music" kind of deal. As a doting wife, I listen to Ryan's show as often as I can and I never hesitate to look up a song that I like as bumper music!

But my favorite, FAVORITE way to find new music is by watching one of my all-time fav televisions shows, So You Think You Can Dance! It seems like at least once or twice a season, I hear a song that I just can't stop thinking about and I simply must find more from that artist! Last year, Christina Perri went from bartender who made some awesome youtube videos of her music to INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTAR! And for a good reason! Her song, Jar of Hearts, was incredible on SYTYCD and made for an amazing television debut for her. Another SYTYCD music alum? Lady Gaga. I kid you not!

So who am I loving right now? You all know I'm a sucker for a man and his guitar  (married one...) so my heart with always belong to Jason Mraz and Brett Dennen. When it's time to shake it around the living room for a family dance party though? You can bet I'm blastin' some Shakira, Gaga, and Christina Aguilera!

To enter the giveaway to win a $25 Target giftcard, leave a comment below telling me your favorite new song or artist!

New Mothers of Two Under Two

I've recently witnessed some fellow mommy bloggers be blessed with their second child making them proud new members of the two under two (2 under 2 or 2u2) club. This is a growing trend in our culture for many reasons and one that I'm slaving away at myself now as I'm nearing the end of my youngest daughter's first year of life. As you probably know, I'm working on the first book ever on the specific challenges of pregnancy and parenting when you have 2 under 2 since it's such a special situation that more and more mothers are facing. The content of this post may or may not make it into the book but I felt compelled to write an open letter to the new mothers of two under two so, if you're a month or two into this crazy new adventure, this one's for you...

My dear, beautiful, incredible mama,

A month or two into the incredible journey of caring for your toddler with a newborn in your arms has, I'm sure, brought you amazing joy. You've seen your firstborn love on your new baby with a certain innocent affection you didn't know existed in this world. You've once again been up and down all night long, meeting the special newborn diapering and nursing needs, and your back is a little sore from balancing the baby on one side and the toddler on the other. You're tired but happy. Oh so happy.

And, let's be honest, reality hasn't really hit you yet.

You're feeling accomplished because you're managing to keep up on most chores and even cooking a healthful family meal or two during the week. You're starting to work out again and can't wait to get your pre-baby body back, especially if you've decided this baby is your final addition to your family.

All that's great. But it's ending soon.

Oh how quickly we forget that the sleepy newborn phase is just that, a phase. The days where you can run into the post office with your infant asleep in the carseat and your toddler walking beside you, holding your hand are numbered because, pretty soon, that infant will be screaming to get the fuck out of that seat and then when your toddler sees you carrying the baby, he'll want to be carried too and then you're balancing the package you simply have to send to Grandma in one hand while your toddler wiggles on your hip, trying to open said package, and the infant clutches your hair as he's precariously balanced between you and the box that will inevitably fall on the floor as you make a feeble attempt to open the door to the post office because people are rude and they won't help you. Sorry, was that too much? Have I overshared? Again?

Dude. You may feel like you have your shit together now, while your new baby drifts in and out of sleep all day and easily snuggles into you when you wear them in a wrap or carrier but this is temporary. Don't get used to this. Life with a newborn isn't real life. Be prepared for everything to change and then be ready to change your expectations of yourself.

In a couple of months, you will no longer be able to find the time to do the dishes AND the laundry AND cook dinner AND do your P90X. You.just.won't. And that's ok! If I've learned anything through my second pregnancy and my first year as a parent to 2u2, it's that you need to expect less and be pleased with more. For example, since my days are spent completely engaged with one or both children with the exception of a 30-45 minute nap overlap and the two hours after they're both asleep for the night before I go to bed, I simply cannot expect myself to stay on top of laundry and cleaning and work and meal planning and grocery shopping and home maintenance and cooking all while taking impeccable care of myself, my hair, my skin, my nails, and my figure (ahem). So, I prioritize.

I make sure there's food on the table for meals. It's not always healthy and it's not always homemade, but we eat. I make sure there's clean clothes available to every member of the family. It's not always what we were hoping to be able to wear from day to day but we don't stink of dirty laundry. I walk the dog with my girls. It's not always fun and it's not always the 30-60 minutes it should be, but we do it, every day. I let the house get messy and I clean it up in stages. If the girls are happily playing amidst the biggest, most insane mess of toys in the living room, I may sneak away to clear the kitchen table but you can bet your ass I'm not touching a single toy that's in the pile keeping them captivated. I brush my teeth. Some days, that may be the only bit of self-care I get, but at least it's something.

So, you probably won't be your pre-pregnancy weight in a few months' time and your carefully planned playdates and outings will be pushed back, cancelled, and forgotten about altogether some days, but you'll be okay with it because you know you're doing the very best you can do and that is good enough for you. And you know what else? It's good enough for me too. Be kind, loving, and generous with yourself. The roller coaster that is two under two is an awesome, ridiculous, sometimes impossible ride!