Please stop reading this post if you are not interested in my sex life, sex after childbirth, or female issues after having a baby! Dad, you can stop right here... trust me on this one!
Some days, I really don't feel sexy. Most days though, I feel like I still got it. It's funny, I think back to Ryan's and my first few years together... I felt sexy pretty much all the time. The newness of the relationship, my pre-baby body, all the booze we were drinking... you can attribute my sexy feelings to whatever you want, but whatever it was, I felt sexy. I felt pretty sexy through most of pregnancy as well. My already large chest got larger, and as my belly got bigger and harder, I felt a new comfort in my body which made me feel pretty darn hot. Unfortunately, Ryan had the typical first time dad sex during pregnancy fears but that didn't stop me from feeling hot during that time, I loved being pregnant!
After having Emma, I got tired... and sore... and soft in certain areas... and did I mention I'm tired? It's hard to feel sexy when you feel like a zombie. Seriously. My tailbone still hurts at least once a day, a little reminder of how Emma was trying to come out facing up, banging the back of her head against my back with each contraction. Breastfeeding also reduces the level of Estrogen down there (and everywhere else) which leads to the necessary addition of lubrication which makes sex less spontaneous, thereby making it less sexy, thereby making me feel less sexy... whatever, I'm a woman, I'm irrational sometimes, it's allowed.
Jenny McCarthy wrote in her book (which I do recommend for anyone who is pregnant or thinking of getting pregnant) that she was afraid sex after childbirth would feel for her husband like "throwing a hotdog down a hallway". I'm not even joking, I had the same fear. After coming home from the hospital, I ventured down there with a mirror. I figured I had to know what it was doing in order to know when it was getting better, right? (I needed some stitches after tearing and was honestly curious what that looked like, am I weird?) Looking at my poor, stretched out area was probably a bad idea. It made me really self-conscious and nervous for the sex that would come 6 weeks later.
6 weeks go by. I look again. Better, but not the way it was prior to childbirth. Yeah, nobody really tells you how things (everything, let's be honest) don't go back to the way they were before childbirth.
At 6 weeks, I went to my post partum check up and my midwife says, "you healed okay, not great, just okay". Are you kidding me? What the hell does that even mean? Is it like a hallway down there? Echo, echo, echo!!!....
Turns out, with lots of lube, post partum sex can be just as good as pre-baby sex. And on days when I'm not too tired, I feel sexy again, cushy tummy and all. Taking good care of myself makes me feel sexier so I try to remember to do that and I've added sexy tummy-covering lingerie to my wish list hoping that will help me feel more confident too.
While it's all different than it once was; body, frequency, location (can't wake the baby!!), I'm still too sexy only now it's for a whole new set of reasons! Being a mother empowers me. I feel stronger and more feminine than I ever have and that is hot if you ask me! So, to all you mommies, you're too sexy too! Trust me on this one!