There Was a Wedding???

I've learned that sometimes motherhood makes you lose touch with what's going on with the rest of the world.  I knew that the Royal Wedding was happening soon but had no idea when nor did I know what TV network would be covering it...  and, to be honest, I didn't really care.  It was aired live in the middle of the night yesterday morning, right?  (I'm still not sure)  Want to know what I was doing at that time?  Rocking my baby back to sleep, humming a soothing tune (for my benefit really, not hers), and praying that this is the 6 month growth spurt happening a little early.  Oh yeah, and I may or may not have turned on the TV and watched a film that says it's a Horror/Comedy (hello Anna Faris!!)  but, to me, seemed more like soft porn.

I remember stalking the tabloids (okay, Teen People) for pics and news of Prince William.  Back when he looked adorable and I could still fantasize about someday meeting and marrying him myself (gotta love the teenage years, right?).  To be honest, he didn't turn into the MOST handsome man...  too bad...

 

Harry turned out alright though, eh?  Woo!

 

Anyway, priorities change and mommyhood gives you different things to focus on so you miss out on some of the pop culture happenings.  Totally and completely worth it.

Where's My Fashion???

I used to looooove putting on a sexy pencil skirt and curve-hugging sweater for work.  What feels better than slacks that fit just perfectly over your booty?  Seriously?  I love to get dressed up!!!

Doing my hair, wearing make up, buying and wearing nice clothes...

Yeah, I miss that.

These days I wear a lot of yoga pants and shirts that allow for easy breastfeeding.  Glamour, I know!  Here's what I do to NOT feel like a schlep:



1.  Do something with my hair every day.  It doesn't have to be fancy and I don't even have to use a blowdryer but it cannot just hang there!

2.  Put on clean clothes every day.  At the end of the day, there's always spit up or sweat or something on my shirt or pants or both!  Yuck!!  No putting yesterday's clothes back on or being content to wear what I slept in all day!

3.  Apply some make up every other day.  Notice I did not say every day...  keeping expectations realistic here folks!  Emma actually likes watching me put it on and gets a kick out of me explaining what things are and how old she has to be before she gets to use it!

And finally 4.  Push those nice work clothes to the back of the closet where you won't have to stare at them longingly each and every day.  I miss getting dressed for work.  I can't wear those clothes now because they'd be ruined (see #1) so there's no sense in me looking at them all the time knowing I can't wear them (not only because they'd get ruined but also because THEY JUST DON'T FIT).

So, yeah, that's how I'm working on not completely giving up my sense of style with the duties of motherhood!  Leave a comment if you have more to add!  I'd love to hear it!

The Shape of THIS Mother

I used to looooooove to work out.  I practiced yoga every day, ran 9-12 miles a week, and kicked my own butt with weights in the gym. 

I'm a little different now...  I walk the dogs a lot and I lift Emma up and down and around all day long but over 5 months post partum, I'm pretty big.  This body doesn't feel like mine and I struggle to feel good about it.

I stumbled across The Shape of a Mother and felt a sense of relief that I'm not the only one.  I mean, duh I'm not the only one...  I read all the time about mothers who are struggling with their post-baby bodies but it helps to SEE it!  To see a picture of a woman's belly that looks worse/better/the same as mine does! 

Still, feeling like I'm not alone is only a small part of actually feeling better about my body.  In comes, my favorite trainer and butt-kicker!!!  I bought this DVD last year and loved the workouts but didn't have the devotion to do the 30 days hardcore.  I'm not saying I have the motivation to let Jillian kick my ass for the next 30 days but I am committing to try to do this short workout a few times a week.  Emma loves to watch me play Just Dance on the Wii, why should this be any different?

I'm not expecting to ever have my pre-baby body back but it couldn't hurt to get back in touch with the part of me that lived for a great workout, sweat in my eyes and all!

Who AM I?

I'm still me...  I'm still funny and smart and I have tons of interests and lots of ambition, it's just focused differently now.  Instead of running every day with my devoted dogs, we walk as much as Emma will tolerate in her stroller!

We snuggle more...  

All of us...

My outings are less about work and helping others and more about giving Emma the chance to experience new things!





My "green" mission has evolved from cleaning products and reducing energy consumption to cloth diapering and buying organic cotton baby clothes!  I spend WAY more time with my parents, turns out they know what they're talking about...  sometimes!  I appreciate and work toward a clean house more now than I did before.  Knowing Emma will be all over the floor is incentive to keep it clean!  The blogs I read now are less about healthy living, yoga, and the environment and more about babies, birth, and breastfeeding.  

I still perform only now it's not on a stage.  My audience is my daughter (and sometimes my husband).  They both tolerate the "dooo, doo, doo's" I sing when I don't know the lyrics.  Instead of dancing alone on a stage, I'm balancing my daughter on my hip, swaying and spinning around the living room.  And partying now means Ryan poured me a halfglass of wine to drink after Emma has gone down for the night.

So what do I want now?  Who do I want to become?  What do I want to do?  and how in the world do I get there?

Who Was I?

So, in order to maintain one's identity, one must know who one is...  or something like that...  right?

Well, before I gave birth to my darling daughter...

I loved my dogs and ran with them for miles and miles...

I practiced yoga every day and taught as much as I could...

I loved being married to this creative, fun, brilliant man...

I performed...

I read a lot and went to school because it was FUN (?!?!?).  I worked hard and played hard (we don't need to post old party pics from myspace here, do we?).  I was passionate about serving the community, providing therapy and counseling to adults and children as well as performing social work duties for the community.  I volunteered!  In my free time (free time???), I researched the "green" movement and considered myself an aspiring environmentalist. 

Whew!  So, if that's who I was, who am I now?

So I'm a Stay at Home Mom...

I actually never thought I'd have children, let alone stay home with them!  Here I am, a mother to a 5 month old girl, Emmaline and I stay home with her every.single.day.  How did this happen?  What happened to the ambitious career woman I once was?  She's still here... somewhere...

This blog's purpose is to document and explore how I'm staying "myself" while raising my daughter.  So many American women lose themselves in motherhood and live only for their children.  I will NOT become a martyr and I WILL maintain my identity as my daughter and I grow together. 

My mission here is to nurture my relationship with myself so I am best able to be a great wife to my husband and mother to my child.  Join me!