I don't!
Okay, not really, I do. Most American wives do, am I right or am I right? Here's the thing, my husband is a producer for a local sports talk radio station (perhaps you've heard of it). This means that, not only is he a HUGE sports fan but sports are his JOB. You know how teachers have to grade papers at home? Well, my husband HAS TO watch sports at home... during breakfast, during dinner, during quality family time. We are fortunate enough to have a DVR which means he can pause the game or news report and come back to it later if we need to chat or I need him to change Emma's diaper or something, thank goodness for that! The TV is on ESPN or a game (any sport) at least 75% of the time that it's on.
Let me put something out there, I don't even like TV very much let alone professional sports on TV!
So, how do I deal with this? How can I compete with something that is not only a passion of Ryan's but also his profession? We American wives are so often jealous of the time our husbands spend watching ESPN, what's my strategy?
I choose to not look at it as a competition. I love Ryan for the ways we're similar AND different. He's REALLY into sports and I'm REALLY into yoga. He plays the guitar and I love to read and write. He's go with the flow and I'm a planner.
Yes, there are days when I resent the Bronco's or Sports Center (nah, nah, nah... nah, nah, nah - see below if you don't get this) but, most days, I love that my husband is passionate about things other than his family! It's what makes him unique and special! Plus, it keeps him masculine, right? Talking cloth diapers, breastfeeding, and teething necklaces all day does not a manly man make!
There are times when I'd like to watch something different or I'd love to have the TV off altogether. That's when I need to be assertive and make my needs known! Ryan and I have talked about how openly communicating what we need from the other is really the only way we're going to get what we want, so I just ASK for what I want! I usually get it too, and so does he. He says, "Honey, I'd really like to watch the game tonight" and I say, "Sure, as long as we get to have dinner together, that's fine". I say, "I'd love to go to yoga today" and he says, "No problem, I'll take care of Emma and have dinner ready for you when you get home". It's not always this perfect but, honestly, 90% of the time, this is word for word how it goes. No resentment, no stress, no fighting. And, if that doesn't work to pull him away from the TV to spend time with me, there's always lingerie...
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sleep-Training Your Baby
I desperately need some sleep! Since Emma hit the 4 month mark, she hasn't slept through a single night. She slept 10-11 hours straight most nights from 2-4 months of age and suddenly stopped! WTF???
After about 6 weeks of this, Ryan and I decided we needed to research our options. We're perfectly fine with her waking up 1-3 times per night but she's up 6-10 times per night right now which is just not okay for any of us. We have a great routine during the day and loosely followed the EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep) schedule to get her accustomed to a routine. She naps fairly well most days and we know she's perfectly capable of sleeping through the night so why doesn't she???
Around the 4 month mark, Emma started sitting, she cut her first tooth, and rolled from her back to her front. Many development theories indicate the sleep is disrupted when milestones occur. My theory is that this onslaught of development caused Emma to stop her great overnight sleep habits. After the couple of weeks of adjusting to her new skills (and tooth!) she had simply forgotten how to get herself to sleep all night on her own. She wakes up every 1-3 hours now. All. Night. Long.
I typically nurse her back to sleep. It takes about 9 minutes and works almost every time. The problem with this is that I'm reinforcing her belief that she needs me to fall asleep! So when she stirs and wakes up a little, realizing that she's not in my arms nursing anymore, she calls for me to come back. We really need to work on this.
Here's what we've done so far... When I put her down for the night, I nurse her till she's comfy and relaxed and has a full tummy. Then, I lay her down in her crib. She sometimes lets out a single cry of protest. I give her the paci (if she wants it), say "shhhh", and she turns her head and closes her eyes. I leave the room and that's that! She basically puts herself to sleep. So why in the world can't she put herself BACK to sleep during the night? Oy...
Ryan tries to get up with her if it's been less than 3 hours since she last woke. That way, she's not being nursed every time. It's hard for me to make him get up with her though! First of all, I'm the lighter sleeper so I wake up first anyway. Second, it's my job to stay home with her all day whereas Ryan has to produce back to back radio shows every afternoon. I feel like, if one of us has to be drained all day, I guess I'd rather it be me. Does that make me a martyr? Maybe. I also feel like it makes me realistic. We decided to have a baby. Having a baby means not sleeping, for like 18 years, right?
People have said that letting your baby "cry it out" is easier than you'd think. Honestly, I know too much about the chemicals of the brain and the development of attachment to let Emma cry it out right now. The release of Cortisol (while crying) sets her up for disturbed sleep, excessive hunger during the day and night, and obesity later in life. Plus, when Emma cries, all I see are red eyes, big tears rolling down her cheeks, and desperate hands reaching out for me to hold her and tell her that I'm there for her and everything is alright. As her mother, it's my job to do that.
So, for the time being, we're not getting much sleep. We're working on it slowly since we're against the cry it out approach but slow progress is better than no progress. Plus, Emma is cutting another tooth and is thisclose to crawling and pulling herself up from sitting to standing so I know we're dealing with some developmental sleep disturbances in the meantime! I'm maintaining and attitude of patience and perseverance with the knowledge that I have to go with my gut and do what I think is best for my daughter, right now and always.
After about 6 weeks of this, Ryan and I decided we needed to research our options. We're perfectly fine with her waking up 1-3 times per night but she's up 6-10 times per night right now which is just not okay for any of us. We have a great routine during the day and loosely followed the EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep) schedule to get her accustomed to a routine. She naps fairly well most days and we know she's perfectly capable of sleeping through the night so why doesn't she???
Around the 4 month mark, Emma started sitting, she cut her first tooth, and rolled from her back to her front. Many development theories indicate the sleep is disrupted when milestones occur. My theory is that this onslaught of development caused Emma to stop her great overnight sleep habits. After the couple of weeks of adjusting to her new skills (and tooth!) she had simply forgotten how to get herself to sleep all night on her own. She wakes up every 1-3 hours now. All. Night. Long.
I typically nurse her back to sleep. It takes about 9 minutes and works almost every time. The problem with this is that I'm reinforcing her belief that she needs me to fall asleep! So when she stirs and wakes up a little, realizing that she's not in my arms nursing anymore, she calls for me to come back. We really need to work on this.
Here's what we've done so far... When I put her down for the night, I nurse her till she's comfy and relaxed and has a full tummy. Then, I lay her down in her crib. She sometimes lets out a single cry of protest. I give her the paci (if she wants it), say "shhhh", and she turns her head and closes her eyes. I leave the room and that's that! She basically puts herself to sleep. So why in the world can't she put herself BACK to sleep during the night? Oy...
Ryan tries to get up with her if it's been less than 3 hours since she last woke. That way, she's not being nursed every time. It's hard for me to make him get up with her though! First of all, I'm the lighter sleeper so I wake up first anyway. Second, it's my job to stay home with her all day whereas Ryan has to produce back to back radio shows every afternoon. I feel like, if one of us has to be drained all day, I guess I'd rather it be me. Does that make me a martyr? Maybe. I also feel like it makes me realistic. We decided to have a baby. Having a baby means not sleeping, for like 18 years, right?
People have said that letting your baby "cry it out" is easier than you'd think. Honestly, I know too much about the chemicals of the brain and the development of attachment to let Emma cry it out right now. The release of Cortisol (while crying) sets her up for disturbed sleep, excessive hunger during the day and night, and obesity later in life. Plus, when Emma cries, all I see are red eyes, big tears rolling down her cheeks, and desperate hands reaching out for me to hold her and tell her that I'm there for her and everything is alright. As her mother, it's my job to do that.
So, for the time being, we're not getting much sleep. We're working on it slowly since we're against the cry it out approach but slow progress is better than no progress. Plus, Emma is cutting another tooth and is thisclose to crawling and pulling herself up from sitting to standing so I know we're dealing with some developmental sleep disturbances in the meantime! I'm maintaining and attitude of patience and perseverance with the knowledge that I have to go with my gut and do what I think is best for my daughter, right now and always.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
I Believe...
... most pain (physical or emotional) can be relieved by either water, yoga, or meditation (or all three)...
... my daughter's laugh is the most incredible sound ever!
... in long Spring walks with the whole family...
... that my husband thinks I'm sexy when we share a bottle of beer...
... not all beers are worthy of this (blech Bud Light)...
... my dogs have the best life ever. I feed them, give them time outside and lots of love, and all they need to do is love me back and lay around the house.
... doing laundry is not a rewarding chore because it's never really done!
... having Emma's diapers all clean and put away makes me very happy...
... a Sunday is not a Sunday without a really good (and usually too salty) breakfast with family.
... my daughter's laugh is the most incredible sound ever!
... in long Spring walks with the whole family...
... that my husband thinks I'm sexy when we share a bottle of beer...
... not all beers are worthy of this (blech Bud Light)...
... my dogs have the best life ever. I feed them, give them time outside and lots of love, and all they need to do is love me back and lay around the house.
... doing laundry is not a rewarding chore because it's never really done!
... having Emma's diapers all clean and put away makes me very happy...
... a Sunday is not a Sunday without a really good (and usually too salty) breakfast with family.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Taking Time For Me
It's so hard for a mom to take time for herself. At least that's the way it seems to me. Even with a supportive husband and family to help care for the little one, there's an inner guilt that's hard to shake. It's hard to know if that guilt is something instinctual that a woman is supposed to feel when leaving her child in the (capable) hands of others or if it's something our society instills within us.
I majored in Sociology for my undergraduate degree and I'm fascinated by how different societies have different norms that impact those within it while those people have no idea they're being influenced. It's funny how we all think we make our own decisions but, really, when you examine it further, most decisions are influenced by so many other factors that they're not really our own.
My point is, Ryan got me a gift certificate for a massage for Valentine's Day and it took me till Mother's Day to use it! And, he had to basically shove me out the door to go get pampered!! Why? Because I feel a sense of guilt leaving him to watch Emma while I go off and take time for myself! Do all mothers feel this way? Is it out society that dictates this feeling?
Hard to tell. Something I'm sure of is that we, as mothers, need to take care of ourselves in order to be good mothers and partners. We need to work on shaking that guilt and owning a little bit of selfishness in the name of self-care! We need not be martyrs, we need not be divas. We need to be somewhere in the middle. My goal is to have a balance of care for me and care for my family.
So, since Emma is napping, I'm off to go do the same! Now go take time for YOU too! Go! Now! And no guilt for doing so!
I majored in Sociology for my undergraduate degree and I'm fascinated by how different societies have different norms that impact those within it while those people have no idea they're being influenced. It's funny how we all think we make our own decisions but, really, when you examine it further, most decisions are influenced by so many other factors that they're not really our own.
My point is, Ryan got me a gift certificate for a massage for Valentine's Day and it took me till Mother's Day to use it! And, he had to basically shove me out the door to go get pampered!! Why? Because I feel a sense of guilt leaving him to watch Emma while I go off and take time for myself! Do all mothers feel this way? Is it out society that dictates this feeling?
Hard to tell. Something I'm sure of is that we, as mothers, need to take care of ourselves in order to be good mothers and partners. We need to work on shaking that guilt and owning a little bit of selfishness in the name of self-care! We need not be martyrs, we need not be divas. We need to be somewhere in the middle. My goal is to have a balance of care for me and care for my family.
So, since Emma is napping, I'm off to go do the same! Now go take time for YOU too! Go! Now! And no guilt for doing so!
Friday, May 27, 2011
By Request: Our Honeymoon
This post will be a lot of pictures because they're so fun! For our honeymoon, Ryan and I wanted to do something neither one of us had ever done before. We'd both been to Europe and we travelled across the U.S. together when the band was on tour (that post will come later, I'm sure). We really wanted to go somewhere we could lay on a beach but Ryan had been to Hawaii before and we really wanted something new and different! We decided on a cruise!
Our cruise started in California, stopped in Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta, and Cabo San Lucas. It was a week long and we were so excited for our adventure! In Mazatlan we had signed up to hike to the lighthouse which just so happens to be the lighthouse at the highest elevation in the world. We're from Colorado so the hike was easy but it was really fun! In Puerto Vallarta we ziplined! It was an incredible course! We climbed rope ladders, walked across plank bridges, and cheered each other on the whole way! We planned to rest on the beach in Cabo before the boat headed back to the States.
Princess Cruiseline was recommended by many for us as "honeymooners" and they did not disappoint. We arrived to balloons and congratulatory wishes.
After a day at sea we were in Mazatlan! In the morning, we hiked:
In the afternoon, we took a water taxi to the other side of the city. There we swam in the ocean and ate shrimp and coconut. We suspect that my incredible coconut drink was what in fact gave me Giardia though there's no way to know for sure...
The next day we were in Puerto Vallarta. The zipline tour took the whole day and was incredible! We weren't allowed to bring our cameras but they had a professional photographer there. I have a gorgeous picture of Ryan and I on the 90 foot rope ladder but can't find it! You'll just have to trust me, it was amazing and so much fun.
Another day at sea and we got to Cabo. Cabo was an adventure. We didn't really leave the pier. We wanted to go to the beach and swim and we did for a little while... then... I was stung by a jellyfish!
We ate at a little restaurant (could have given me Giardia... I ate the raw veggies... duh...) after stinging, I mean swimming! Ryan wouldn't pee on me (he didn't think it would be a very "honeymoonish" thing to do) so my arm hurt for the whole day!! We took a leisurely stroll back to the ship and prepared to go home.
On the ship, we couldn't have asked for better weather, better service, or a better overall experience. The ship was beautiful, the food was incredible, and we were treated very well. We took part in a stellar wine tasting (complete with Veuve Cliquot, my favorite!!!) and even had a "pub lunch" with bangers and mash! The entertainment was great and there were very few kiddo's to trip over! We played virtual golf, swam in a few of the pools, and took many a romantic stroll.
The last day and night on board were pretty rough as the weather had turned and we were both feeling a little ill from our meal in Cabo. We spent the day in bed watching TV! There were movies on repeat that we hadn't seen before (Twilight, 500 Days of Summer, and another one, I can't remember). We locked ourselves in our room all day, talked about what an incredible experience it was, and planned for our future together.
Our honeymoon was the last vacation we took and one of the best weeks I've ever had! Since then, we've moved twice, had a baby, and I've changed jobs more than once! We could sure use another vacation but re-experiencing our honeymoon via the pictures I took leaves me more than happy! I couldn't have asked for a better adventure with my husband!
Our cruise started in California, stopped in Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta, and Cabo San Lucas. It was a week long and we were so excited for our adventure! In Mazatlan we had signed up to hike to the lighthouse which just so happens to be the lighthouse at the highest elevation in the world. We're from Colorado so the hike was easy but it was really fun! In Puerto Vallarta we ziplined! It was an incredible course! We climbed rope ladders, walked across plank bridges, and cheered each other on the whole way! We planned to rest on the beach in Cabo before the boat headed back to the States.
Princess Cruiseline was recommended by many for us as "honeymooners" and they did not disappoint. We arrived to balloons and congratulatory wishes.
After a day at sea we were in Mazatlan! In the morning, we hiked:
In the afternoon, we took a water taxi to the other side of the city. There we swam in the ocean and ate shrimp and coconut. We suspect that my incredible coconut drink was what in fact gave me Giardia though there's no way to know for sure...
The next day we were in Puerto Vallarta. The zipline tour took the whole day and was incredible! We weren't allowed to bring our cameras but they had a professional photographer there. I have a gorgeous picture of Ryan and I on the 90 foot rope ladder but can't find it! You'll just have to trust me, it was amazing and so much fun.
Another day at sea and we got to Cabo. Cabo was an adventure. We didn't really leave the pier. We wanted to go to the beach and swim and we did for a little while... then... I was stung by a jellyfish!
We ate at a little restaurant (could have given me Giardia... I ate the raw veggies... duh...) after stinging, I mean swimming! Ryan wouldn't pee on me (he didn't think it would be a very "honeymoonish" thing to do) so my arm hurt for the whole day!! We took a leisurely stroll back to the ship and prepared to go home.
On the ship, we couldn't have asked for better weather, better service, or a better overall experience. The ship was beautiful, the food was incredible, and we were treated very well. We took part in a stellar wine tasting (complete with Veuve Cliquot, my favorite!!!) and even had a "pub lunch" with bangers and mash! The entertainment was great and there were very few kiddo's to trip over! We played virtual golf, swam in a few of the pools, and took many a romantic stroll.
The last day and night on board were pretty rough as the weather had turned and we were both feeling a little ill from our meal in Cabo. We spent the day in bed watching TV! There were movies on repeat that we hadn't seen before (Twilight, 500 Days of Summer, and another one, I can't remember). We locked ourselves in our room all day, talked about what an incredible experience it was, and planned for our future together.
Our honeymoon was the last vacation we took and one of the best weeks I've ever had! Since then, we've moved twice, had a baby, and I've changed jobs more than once! We could sure use another vacation but re-experiencing our honeymoon via the pictures I took leaves me more than happy! I couldn't have asked for a better adventure with my husband!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
My Turn to Brag!
My daughter has been exclusively breastfed (meaning no formula supplementation) for the first 6 months of her life!
Even more impressive, I see no end in sight! That's right, Emma and I have committed to a year of breastfeeding. If she wants to go longer I plan on doing the best I can. Breastfeeding my daughter is one of the most rewarding, challenging, and awesome things I've ever done. In a day of breastfeeding (anywhere from 6-10 sessions) I feel a range of emotions. Everything from joy and comfort to anger and pain. Breastfeeding hurts (we've been over that) and my breasts go through phases where ducts get clogged and blisters form but in spite of all that, it's an incredible thing that I'm able to do for my little girl and I'm so grateful to be able to give her this incredible advantage.
There have been many who have criticized or suggested that we stop breastfeeding or start supplementing with formula. My mother suggested that a bit of formula would help with Emma's gas. At Christmas with my in-laws, a family friend asked if I was still breastfeeding? As if it had been long enough (Emma was a month old). Through all this, I stuck to my guns. My gut told me that Emma's digestive issues would not be helped by drinking from a bottle and that breastfeeding her would give us a bond that no one could question.
My attitude of exclusivity and dedication left a few friends and family members feeling frustrated and I have been accused of being arrogant about it. That isn't true at all, I acknowledge that I've been very fortunate to be able to breastfeed Emma and I do not take it for granted. I know that breastfeeding is a choice and a very personal one. I was willing to sacrifice my body for more than just the 9 months of pregnancy so that I could breastfeed my baby. Many women are not willing or able to do so. As mothers we're supposed to let our intuition lead the way. My path was clear to me and I'm fortunate that there were no serious roadblocks.
Intuitively, I know that what I'm doing is best for my daughter, for me, for our family. I am so very grateful to have had the chance to give Emma these building blocks for a healthier, safer, more connected future. Emma was born 6 months ago and I've never once pondered giving up. I'm so lucky, so grateful, so blessed to have been able to share this experience with her and I look forward to another 6 months!
Even more impressive, I see no end in sight! That's right, Emma and I have committed to a year of breastfeeding. If she wants to go longer I plan on doing the best I can. Breastfeeding my daughter is one of the most rewarding, challenging, and awesome things I've ever done. In a day of breastfeeding (anywhere from 6-10 sessions) I feel a range of emotions. Everything from joy and comfort to anger and pain. Breastfeeding hurts (we've been over that) and my breasts go through phases where ducts get clogged and blisters form but in spite of all that, it's an incredible thing that I'm able to do for my little girl and I'm so grateful to be able to give her this incredible advantage.
There have been many who have criticized or suggested that we stop breastfeeding or start supplementing with formula. My mother suggested that a bit of formula would help with Emma's gas. At Christmas with my in-laws, a family friend asked if I was still breastfeeding? As if it had been long enough (Emma was a month old). Through all this, I stuck to my guns. My gut told me that Emma's digestive issues would not be helped by drinking from a bottle and that breastfeeding her would give us a bond that no one could question.
My attitude of exclusivity and dedication left a few friends and family members feeling frustrated and I have been accused of being arrogant about it. That isn't true at all, I acknowledge that I've been very fortunate to be able to breastfeed Emma and I do not take it for granted. I know that breastfeeding is a choice and a very personal one. I was willing to sacrifice my body for more than just the 9 months of pregnancy so that I could breastfeed my baby. Many women are not willing or able to do so. As mothers we're supposed to let our intuition lead the way. My path was clear to me and I'm fortunate that there were no serious roadblocks.
Intuitively, I know that what I'm doing is best for my daughter, for me, for our family. I am so very grateful to have had the chance to give Emma these building blocks for a healthier, safer, more connected future. Emma was born 6 months ago and I've never once pondered giving up. I'm so lucky, so grateful, so blessed to have been able to share this experience with her and I look forward to another 6 months!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
How to Become a MILF
Why not talk about it? Every mother wants to be a MILF, right? We all want to be thought of as sexy, confident, desirable women not just in spite of our motherhood but because of it! I know I do and I'm sure other mothers do too!
So... how do we become MILF's?
To be completely honest, I think it's less about our size, shape, and done up-ness and more about our confidence, posture, and self-image. If you think you're hot stuff, you probably are, right?
When I think I'm worth taking a few extra minutes to put on mascara in the morning, I not only look better because I've put on mascara, I look better because I feel more attractive, more valuable, more worthy of my own time and effort. When I spent a minute thinking about what to wear instead of tossing on the same old yoga pants and t-shirt, I feel better about myself which means I carry myself differently. Believing I'm worth it makes me look better, sexier, more desirable. Who could ask for more, right?
It's a challenge to come up with self-confidence out of the blue. It would be so much easier if someone called me a MILF and gave me a boost... then I'd feel more beautiful and that would be that! Yeah, right... Something most of us need to work on is feeling good about ourselves without someone else's opinion or approval. We're bombarded by images of beautiful women with boylike figures that most of us mothers could never obtain (nor would we want to, how would we breastfeed with no body fat?). It's so hard to create our own image of beauty and sex appeal around our own bodies and faces but it's worth it.
Check out Operation Beautiful for some inspiration.
As a mother, my body has changed in many ways and regardless of whether it's "better" or "worse" than it was before, it's a mother's body and that is powerful, that is strong, that is feminine... and THAT makes me sexy, desirable, and amazing. Keeping that in mind, I can be confident and stand tall which makes me more attractive thereby making me a MILF, right? Why not?
So... how do we become MILF's?
To be completely honest, I think it's less about our size, shape, and done up-ness and more about our confidence, posture, and self-image. If you think you're hot stuff, you probably are, right?
When I think I'm worth taking a few extra minutes to put on mascara in the morning, I not only look better because I've put on mascara, I look better because I feel more attractive, more valuable, more worthy of my own time and effort. When I spent a minute thinking about what to wear instead of tossing on the same old yoga pants and t-shirt, I feel better about myself which means I carry myself differently. Believing I'm worth it makes me look better, sexier, more desirable. Who could ask for more, right?
It's a challenge to come up with self-confidence out of the blue. It would be so much easier if someone called me a MILF and gave me a boost... then I'd feel more beautiful and that would be that! Yeah, right... Something most of us need to work on is feeling good about ourselves without someone else's opinion or approval. We're bombarded by images of beautiful women with boylike figures that most of us mothers could never obtain (nor would we want to, how would we breastfeed with no body fat?). It's so hard to create our own image of beauty and sex appeal around our own bodies and faces but it's worth it.
Check out Operation Beautiful for some inspiration.
As a mother, my body has changed in many ways and regardless of whether it's "better" or "worse" than it was before, it's a mother's body and that is powerful, that is strong, that is feminine... and THAT makes me sexy, desirable, and amazing. Keeping that in mind, I can be confident and stand tall which makes me more attractive thereby making me a MILF, right? Why not?
Monday, May 23, 2011
Dogs Plus Baby Equals???
When we were pregnant we worked really hard to prepare Harley and Abbey for the arrival of our first born. Even with the baby sound CD and the doll I walked around with for weeks, we didn't know how they'd respond to a real live baby in our home, crying and wanting the affection that they were so accustomed to receiving!
I felt pretty confident that Harley would be fine. He would sulk for a while like he did when we adopted Abbey but he loves children. He seems to think they're "Harley-sized humans" with faces and hands the perfect height for licking! From the time Harley was a puppy, we've been preparing him for interaction with children. We pull his tail, stick our hands in his mouth, and give his ears little yanks like a kid would. He's very patient and incredibly tolerant of us all!
We learned shortly after adopting Abbey that she's a little off (remember my crazy ass dog post?) and is terrified of children. Even walking through the park, she'd freak out if someone had a baby in a sling, try to pull away from oncoming strollers, and bark at kids that were too close. We prepped her the same way we did Harley, lots of rough physical play which she actually seemed to enjoy from us! The baby noises and doll she got used to but she was still so afraid of kids... we were scared to bring Emma home to Abbey but knew that the only way to know if our preparation had worked was to try.
Turns out, Abbey was born to protect and care for our Emmaline. She is up every time Emma cries at night. She lays in front of the nursery door at night. When Emma plays on the floor, Abbey is always nearby. She gives her gentle kisses and tolerates Emma pulling on her paws, ears, and lips. She walks brilliantly on the right side of the stroller, never flinching when it bumps her or accidentally catches her foot.
Harley is a patient big brother, of course, and I couldn't ask for a better behaved dog (except when he barks at someone outside when Emma is trying to nap, then I want to give him away) but Abbey has surprised us with her self-assigned job of Emma's k9 guardian.
Here's the proof:
I felt pretty confident that Harley would be fine. He would sulk for a while like he did when we adopted Abbey but he loves children. He seems to think they're "Harley-sized humans" with faces and hands the perfect height for licking! From the time Harley was a puppy, we've been preparing him for interaction with children. We pull his tail, stick our hands in his mouth, and give his ears little yanks like a kid would. He's very patient and incredibly tolerant of us all!
We learned shortly after adopting Abbey that she's a little off (remember my crazy ass dog post?) and is terrified of children. Even walking through the park, she'd freak out if someone had a baby in a sling, try to pull away from oncoming strollers, and bark at kids that were too close. We prepped her the same way we did Harley, lots of rough physical play which she actually seemed to enjoy from us! The baby noises and doll she got used to but she was still so afraid of kids... we were scared to bring Emma home to Abbey but knew that the only way to know if our preparation had worked was to try.
Turns out, Abbey was born to protect and care for our Emmaline. She is up every time Emma cries at night. She lays in front of the nursery door at night. When Emma plays on the floor, Abbey is always nearby. She gives her gentle kisses and tolerates Emma pulling on her paws, ears, and lips. She walks brilliantly on the right side of the stroller, never flinching when it bumps her or accidentally catches her foot.
Harley is a patient big brother, of course, and I couldn't ask for a better behaved dog (except when he barks at someone outside when Emma is trying to nap, then I want to give him away) but Abbey has surprised us with her self-assigned job of Emma's k9 guardian.
Here's the proof:
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Some Days I'm a Martyr
As a Stay at Home Mom, it's really hard to resist falling into the martyr roll. You're in charge of running the household all day. In my case, not only am I responsible for Emma but I have the dogs to take care of as well!
I believe that it's okay to feel like a martyr sometimes. Honestly, being a mother (whether you stay home or not) is the hardest job in the world and that should be recognized and appreciated. Since it's not, you have my permission to sometimes feel like a martyr! Notice I said sometimes. It's really easy to fall into the roll permanently and that is simply not okay.
If I always felt as though everything rested on my shoulders and there was no one competent around me to help me, I'd be pretty miserable. It's easy to slip into that mindset and once there, it's hard to get out. The truth is, we all have someone in our lives to help us. I'm so grateful to have a husband to help me with Emma and the dogs as well as my parents and siblings. They're an incredible support system and they help a lot. I'm lucky to have quite a few people and yet there are days when I feel as though I carry my family on my back and there is no one to help me!
I give myself permission to feel like a martyr about once a week. Wallowing in self-pity and frustration with those around me for an hour or two gives me a little satisfaction. Then, I kindly remind myself that, while it may feel as though everyone is an idiot and no one can take care of anything around here, that's just not the case. Then, I ask for help!
The key to getting out of martyrdom is admitting that the reason you feel this way is because you need help. Then, you need to ask for help! No one knows you feel overwhelmed, taken advantage of, or completely drained of all resources unless you tell them! And not hint that you could use a break or a cup of tea or a nap or whatever but actually using the words, "I need your help" and asking for what you know you need to dig yourself out of feeling like the only person in the world who can possibly handle all of this responsibility and why the hell isn't anyone here to do anything for me and how much longer will this go on?
So, after I've had about an hour of silently cursing all those who should somehow magically know I want them to help me, I make a phone call or wake up the husband and ask for what I need! And, like magic, I usually get it! Tada!
My message here is that it's really tempting and easy to feel like a martyr as a mother but it's really important to not get stuck in martyrdom. It's perfectly normal to feel like you're all alone in the world of housework, child-rearing, and dog-walking but the reality is, if you ask for help, you'll usually receive. I know it's not easy to ask for help but it's even harder to work your way out of the slump of feeling alone and helpless! It's so worth it to, once a day, evaluate your needs and meet them! As a mother, I'm worth it!
I believe that it's okay to feel like a martyr sometimes. Honestly, being a mother (whether you stay home or not) is the hardest job in the world and that should be recognized and appreciated. Since it's not, you have my permission to sometimes feel like a martyr! Notice I said sometimes. It's really easy to fall into the roll permanently and that is simply not okay.
If I always felt as though everything rested on my shoulders and there was no one competent around me to help me, I'd be pretty miserable. It's easy to slip into that mindset and once there, it's hard to get out. The truth is, we all have someone in our lives to help us. I'm so grateful to have a husband to help me with Emma and the dogs as well as my parents and siblings. They're an incredible support system and they help a lot. I'm lucky to have quite a few people and yet there are days when I feel as though I carry my family on my back and there is no one to help me!
I give myself permission to feel like a martyr about once a week. Wallowing in self-pity and frustration with those around me for an hour or two gives me a little satisfaction. Then, I kindly remind myself that, while it may feel as though everyone is an idiot and no one can take care of anything around here, that's just not the case. Then, I ask for help!
The key to getting out of martyrdom is admitting that the reason you feel this way is because you need help. Then, you need to ask for help! No one knows you feel overwhelmed, taken advantage of, or completely drained of all resources unless you tell them! And not hint that you could use a break or a cup of tea or a nap or whatever but actually using the words, "I need your help" and asking for what you know you need to dig yourself out of feeling like the only person in the world who can possibly handle all of this responsibility and why the hell isn't anyone here to do anything for me and how much longer will this go on?
So, after I've had about an hour of silently cursing all those who should somehow magically know I want them to help me, I make a phone call or wake up the husband and ask for what I need! And, like magic, I usually get it! Tada!
My message here is that it's really tempting and easy to feel like a martyr as a mother but it's really important to not get stuck in martyrdom. It's perfectly normal to feel like you're all alone in the world of housework, child-rearing, and dog-walking but the reality is, if you ask for help, you'll usually receive. I know it's not easy to ask for help but it's even harder to work your way out of the slump of feeling alone and helpless! It's so worth it to, once a day, evaluate your needs and meet them! As a mother, I'm worth it!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Are We Hippies???
Nonchalantly, I call myself a "hippie" all the time. When people ask about our cloth diapering, I say, "yeah, I'm a hippie" or Emma's Amber Teething necklace, "I'm a crunchy hippie so of course she has one". I don't use conventional shampoo or soap, I don't use regular body lotions or perfume, I don't wear deodorant, I wash some of our laundry with soap nuts, I cloth diaper and use cloth wipes (even when we're away from home, even overnight), I buy organic cotton clothing and food, I refuse to buy eggs unless their cage free/free range/fancy schmancy... the list goes on and on...
I don't know if I'm actually a hippie though. By definition, a hippie is someone who lived during the 1960's (which I didn't), rejected the established institutions (which I sometimes do), sought expanding consciousness (does yoga and meditation count?), and wore folksy clothing with beads and such (no, thank you). I feel as though the conversational definition of hippie has changed a bit though. It includes individuals in the green movement, those who are loving and accepting of all walks of life, those who are free-thinking and open-minded. I am, absolutely, those things. So is my wonderful husband... not so much by his own doing though ; )
I made the decision to cloth diaper, I buy our household cleaning products (of which we have none since I make our cleaning products using various non-harming agents), and I purchase our groceries. Ryan is just along for the ride. He appreciates (sometimes tolerates) my passion for eco-friendly living and my desire to heal the world one plastic container at a time.
Oh yeah, speaking of plastic, we moved a couple of months ago and our apartment complex does not recycle. Oh the horror! Hundreds of people live here and there's no recycling!!! In this household, we recycle almost everything! Our trash is at least a third if not a fourth of what we recycle. Ryan tolerates me continuing to recycle which means that the recyclables first pile up on our dining room table in boxes or bags, then get moved to the garage where they sit until I know I'll be driving near a big recycling drop off location. Then, I have to load it all into my car and unload it all once I get there! It's a little crazy, I know, but I'd feel so much guilt if I didn't. I've already tried to get the management at our apartment to get the bins for us but they say they keep cutting staffing for budget cuts so there's no way they could find the money for recycling. Ugh...
Anyway, so I think we're hippies by the current, conversational definition but I hesitate to firmly label our family as such. While I may see the label as positive, cute, and a little comical; hippie is sometimes derogatory. Hippies are dirty, pot-smoking, and lazy. They disregard social norms, are difficult to communicate with, and weird. Right? People think that! I don't want people to think that about me or my family!
I prefer to think of us as earth-friendly, socially conscious individuals. I care about everything (seriously, just ask Ryan) and everyone (sometimes my heart is bigger than my chest can handle) so I prefer to look at my ways as compassionate and caring instead of labeling myself as being part of any group of individuals.
Still, as I'm making my own babyfood, putting myself in child's pose to get rid of my headache, and giving Emma an almond oil massage before bed, I'm thinking I'm a little bit hippie...
I don't know if I'm actually a hippie though. By definition, a hippie is someone who lived during the 1960's (which I didn't), rejected the established institutions (which I sometimes do), sought expanding consciousness (does yoga and meditation count?), and wore folksy clothing with beads and such (no, thank you). I feel as though the conversational definition of hippie has changed a bit though. It includes individuals in the green movement, those who are loving and accepting of all walks of life, those who are free-thinking and open-minded. I am, absolutely, those things. So is my wonderful husband... not so much by his own doing though ; )
I made the decision to cloth diaper, I buy our household cleaning products (of which we have none since I make our cleaning products using various non-harming agents), and I purchase our groceries. Ryan is just along for the ride. He appreciates (sometimes tolerates) my passion for eco-friendly living and my desire to heal the world one plastic container at a time.
Oh yeah, speaking of plastic, we moved a couple of months ago and our apartment complex does not recycle. Oh the horror! Hundreds of people live here and there's no recycling!!! In this household, we recycle almost everything! Our trash is at least a third if not a fourth of what we recycle. Ryan tolerates me continuing to recycle which means that the recyclables first pile up on our dining room table in boxes or bags, then get moved to the garage where they sit until I know I'll be driving near a big recycling drop off location. Then, I have to load it all into my car and unload it all once I get there! It's a little crazy, I know, but I'd feel so much guilt if I didn't. I've already tried to get the management at our apartment to get the bins for us but they say they keep cutting staffing for budget cuts so there's no way they could find the money for recycling. Ugh...
Anyway, so I think we're hippies by the current, conversational definition but I hesitate to firmly label our family as such. While I may see the label as positive, cute, and a little comical; hippie is sometimes derogatory. Hippies are dirty, pot-smoking, and lazy. They disregard social norms, are difficult to communicate with, and weird. Right? People think that! I don't want people to think that about me or my family!
I prefer to think of us as earth-friendly, socially conscious individuals. I care about everything (seriously, just ask Ryan) and everyone (sometimes my heart is bigger than my chest can handle) so I prefer to look at my ways as compassionate and caring instead of labeling myself as being part of any group of individuals.
Still, as I'm making my own babyfood, putting myself in child's pose to get rid of my headache, and giving Emma an almond oil massage before bed, I'm thinking I'm a little bit hippie...
Friday, May 20, 2011
Win a Nosefrida!
Not from me, from the lovely and talented Kirstin!
If you have a baby, you must look into this!
Here's the link:
Nosefrida giveaway
Good luck!
If you have a baby, you must look into this!
Here's the link:
Nosefrida giveaway
Good luck!
By Request: Our Wedding Story Part 2: The Ceremony
Professional Pictures by the incredible Molly McGannon.
Ryan and I are both musicians. We support local businesses as much as we can and believe in the arts wholeheartedly. When looking for a venue for our wedding, we wanted to find something that reflected our values while being wedding appropriate. We also wanted something that suited a not-so-formal Sunday brunch style reception AND we wanted everything in one place with no stairs (Grandma Edwards was in a wheelchair at the time and we had a feeling that our wedding would be the only Grandchild wedding she would ever be able to attend).
We wrote our ceremony and my brother officiated. My sister was my maid of honor and Ryan's brother was his best man. No frills, just family. Our ceremony was a record 6 minutes long and ended with Ryan stomping on a McDonald's sundae cup because we had forgotten to bring a glass! My psuedo-sister, Paige, saved the day having that in her car!
The reception was catered by A Catered Affair by Connie and the food was yummy! Simple. No waste. Our goal was to create no trash and we succeeded! The alcohol was New Belgium brews (our wedding gift from our best friend, Carey) and wine we made and bottled at Vintages in Fort Collins.
Ryan and I are both musicians. We support local businesses as much as we can and believe in the arts wholeheartedly. When looking for a venue for our wedding, we wanted to find something that reflected our values while being wedding appropriate. We also wanted something that suited a not-so-formal Sunday brunch style reception AND we wanted everything in one place with no stairs (Grandma Edwards was in a wheelchair at the time and we had a feeling that our wedding would be the only Grandchild wedding she would ever be able to attend).We searched Denver, toured the mansions in City Park and near Cheesman, and looked through all the wedding magazines! It was exhausting! Finally, we stumbled across the Space Gallery in the Santa Fe Art District in Denver. It was perfect! There was a little loft where the bridal party could get ready and some pictures could be taken as well as a separation between two rooms downstairs for the ceremony and reception. Having art on the walls meant we didn't have to waste money/time/resources on much decor which was convenient and supported our green mindset.
The reception was catered by A Catered Affair by Connie and the food was yummy! Simple. No waste. Our goal was to create no trash and we succeeded! The alcohol was New Belgium brews (our wedding gift from our best friend, Carey) and wine we made and bottled at Vintages in Fort Collins.
My wedding gift to Ryan was live music. We were going to skip it to save money but I hired Impromptu to learn our song, I'm Yours for our first dance. Then, the played the afternoon away. Everyone loved the Gypsy Swing!
Here's the day in pictures. Enjoy! And stop by next All Request Thursday for the Honeymoon recap!
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