Potty Training Book: Review and Giveaway!!

I recently wrote an article about the Utah mother who was "potty training" her toddlers while they dined at the table of a deli. This mother's actions bordered on child abuse in my humble opinion, since her children sat with their clothes around their ankles, perched upon their portable potties, in front of everyone dining in the crowded restaurant.

After that article went to press, I was contacted by a mother who had potty trained her own children, obtained a PhD, and recognized the need for a realistic potty training methodology book for parents everywhere! Stephanie Berk has a degree in Human Development and Family Studies from Cornell and a Ph.D. in Experimental Psychology from University of Connecticut. In addition to her eduction, she has 4 boys of her own! She's more than qualified, in my humble opinion, to be giving me advice on potty training my children so I welcomed her expertise into my life!

Stephanie so generously sent me her book, How to (Potty) Train Your Dragon (Child) to review and, upon my request, she offered to let me give one away to a reader!! Keep reading for my thoughts on the book and giveaway details!!

First of all, I loved that this book wasn't a one size fits all kind of program. There were sections on recognizing potty training readiness as well as how to overcome life obstacles that may interfere with your training. So much more information than I've seen in other guides on the issue.

The actual potty training plan outlined in the book seemed very reasonable to me. Emma will be 2 years old the week of Thanksgiving and we haven't started any formal potty training with her yet so I enjoyed being able to read all of this in order to feel really prepared for the experience. For parents in my situation, pre-potty-training so to speak, there was plenty of information on readiness, preparation, what you need and what you don't, and even a few paragraphs on how to proceed if you've tried to potty train and failed.

The meat of the book is a very specific day-to-day plan to follow for people like me who want everything laid out very specifically but Stephanie does a great job of giving examples of how things should work when the plan can't be followed for one reason or another.

Stephanie deals with concerns that every parent has and troubleshoots how to best deal with life as it happens. She discusses regression, illness, when your kid won't get off the potty, and there's a whole chapter on nighttime potty training!

As a fellow mental health professional, my favorite part of this book was the back! Stephanie has sections on the battle of wills that inevitably happens when a child starts to exert control over things and refuses to use the potty! There are brilliant examples of how to not engage in power struggles while phrasing your request for your kiddo to use the potty in a way they can't refuse! Also, a great couple pages on ways to praise without saying the same phrase over and over again. This part is useful every day, not just for potty training!

I wholeheartedly recommend Stephanie's book and it's worth mentioning that I've seen her give potty training follow up advice on the book's facebook page!! She's also donating proceeds to local schools and plans to start a way for schools around the country to request funds from her book sales as well! Truly, this book was and will be a public service venture for this mother and PhD and I'm so grateful she listened to the requests of others to write it!

The book is completely affordable and available through Amazon in both paperback ($5.99) (what a neat gift for a baby shower!!!) and e-book ($3.99)! It's also available at two local stores (local to her, not to me) at Kangaroo Kids in St. Louis and WeePeat Kids in IL. In stores, it's a tiny bit more expensive but you don't pay shipping and don't have to wait for it so... there's that!

Buy it for you or for your friend with a 3 year old who just can't get it, for whatever reason! Personally, I think it would be an adorable gift for the parents of a 1 year old as a gift basket with a little potty and a potty training DVD or something!

Now, the fun part! Want to win a copy!!!??? Leave a comment, telling me what you fear most (or are struggling with most) with potty training! Is it cleaning the carpet? Accidents in the car seat? Feeling stuck at home for weeks while your kid figures the whole thing out? Tell me!!

For an extra entry, go LIKE How to (Potty) Train Your Dragon (Child) on Facebook and leave another comment telling me you did!

***You must leave your e-mail address as part of your comment so I can contact you directly if you've won!!***

Giveaway will be closing in a week (11/6) and winner will be notified on Wednesday, November 7th!

Winner will be chosen at random from the comments on this post!

My Daughters Don't Look Like Me, But I Know They're Mine

My little girls are dramatically different looking from each other. I didn't expect them to look like twins, my sister and I are very different looking, but I did expect that they'd each look, even just a little bit, like me! I'm their mother, aren't I? They should look like half of me and half of their father! Not so much...

Emma is a blond with a long, lean build. Her eyes are a light, bright blue and are so big and round, she looks like a doll sometimes. Her hands are big and strong and her feet are two sizes larger than most girls her age. That sounds nothing like her brown-eyed mama who measures in at 5'4" on a good day!

So, how do I know she's mine (other than the obvious, of course)? Well, when she laughs, I hear my own cackle that my siblings still mock me for. When she smiles as big as she can, her nose scrunches up like only mine and my sister's can. When she dances, she's graceful but when she's walking, she's clumsy. She's got me written all over her...

Belle is a completely different story. She's a big baby with rolls and dimples that make grown men squeak at the cuteness. Her eyes are a dark, ocean blue, piercing and almond shaped. Her left cheek has a little dimple that I hope stays forever and her hair is brown without any sign of my curls.

Despite her young age, Belle seems more mine than I could imagine. Her smile lights up her whole face and makes her eyes squint like mine. Her torso is far longer than it should be while her legs could probably still fit into newborn size pants (yes, I sometimes wear capris as full length pants, my legs are THAT short). As she's falling asleep next to me, she reaches out a foot to rest upon my thigh. This may not seem like much in the way of genetic identification but hear me out...

Every night for as long as I've fallen asleep next to my husband, I've reached out a foot to rest upon his leg, just to feel that he's there as I fall asleep... It's not because my feet are cold or I'm begging for a foot massage (or something more, ahem). I just stretch my foot onto the other side of the bed to unobtrusively touch some part of him as I drift off into my dreams.

And my daughter does this... to me!

Oh yeah, and BOTH MY GIRLS do the same nose scrunchy thing that my little sis and I do which just melts my heart...

For the record, I think Emma looks a lot like her father and his mother and Belle has my father in-law's ears for sure and I think I see my Grandmother's button nose there too.

But, honestly, when I look at them now? After taking in all that they are right this very minute, on this day in their little lives, all I can see, is me.

Freaking Out About My Age

Ummm... Excuse me but I just realized that I'm 29 years old... right? Let's do the math... I was born in June of 1983 which means I'm going to be 30 in 2013. Shut the fuck up. I'm going to be 30 next year.

Tonight, after taking almost 3 hours to put my little ladies to bed and having 2 huge glasses of wine (which means the bottle is almost gone, let's be honest) I was looking at my google reader and stumbled upon this post (love her and her boys!) where she's talking about her birthday...

and she's 28...

Hmmm... 28? Wait, how old am I?

Cue math and a nervous breakdown.

What happened to MY 28? I don't remember 28! What the fuck?!? Seriously... what happened to my 28th year?

This reminds me of when I turned 24. I thought I was turning 25 (yes, I was a banker and yes I can count, I don't really know how this happened). I did the whole quarter-century nonsense and dealt just fine with turning 25. I was getting my master's degree and had a good job and lots of friends and... yeah, 25 was fine. Except I was turning 24. Semantics.

So the next year, when I actually turned 25, I was like, "whatever, I've already had the existential crisis and I'm totally cool with getting older!"

And then I moved, got engaged, finished my degree, got married, got pregnant, moved again, changed jobs, had a baby, got laid off, moved yet again, got pregnant again, became self-employed, had another baby and...

Oh my gosh, time moved so fast.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the speed of time thus far. I'm not a baby person (blog post to follow complete with confessions of hatred toward babies) so I'm ecstatic that Emma is a toddler and Annabelle decided to sit up early in life (not even 5 months here people!). I have an amazing time with my headstrong, stubborn, opinionated bundle of toddlerdom every day. I welcome tantrums because it means she can communicate with me! I can't wait for Belle to be a year old complete with language and walking and all the trouble that comes with that! So yay for time flying but what? I'm almost 30? Oh, shit.

Why is this emotional for me? Why am I having this freak out session late at night when I should be working? I have no idea. Seriously, I don't. I thought I was fine with getting older and I laughed at the husband when he needed to process turning 29.

Perhaps it's because I have not even given my age a thought since I turned 24 and thought I was turning 25? Perhaps it's because I haven't had a spare moment in time in the last 4 years to even contemplate what I want to be/think/feel/experience by my 30th year. And now? Here it is! I'm going to be 30!

So, now what? Should I think about this? Should I brood over the day that will come in June of next year? Or should I go back to my ignorant self and ignore the fact that I'll be 3 decades old in a mere 9 months or so...

Oh my gosh, I'm almost 30...

A Day in the Life...

Between the husband's job, my freelance work, writing a book, and fantasy football (no, not me, duh), and OH YEAH, our TWO BABIES, when are Ryan and I supposed to spend time together? When am I supposed to get a moment to myself?

Want a breakdown of how life with two under two looks on a typical day? Here ya go! A snap shot of my days with my almost 5 month old and almost 23 month old...
We'll start at 12am and do a 24 hour period.

12am: asleep, thank God!

12:30am: Annabelle stirs in her basinet, she's come out of her swaddle (which she only sleeps in half the time anyway anymore so I don't understand why her arms are flailing and she's woken herself up but whatever). I reswaddle and nurse.

1am: Sounds are rumbling in Annabelle's diaper. Shit... literally... diaper change.

1:30am: Nursed back to sleep, transfer back to basinet.

3am: Annabelle is up again, nurse back to sleep.

5am: Emmaline is up for the day! Yay! Ryan grabs her from her crib, reminds her to be really quiet, and brings her to bed. I nurse her for 20ish minutes and then she's ready to go play.

5:20am: Ryan takes Emma out to the living room to have some quiet playtime with the hopes that I can sleep a bit longer while Belle sleeps...

5:35am: So much for some extra sleep, Belle wakes up... I nurse her.

5:50am: Ryan or I walk the dog while the other starts breakfast, keeps the girls happy, and makes coffee.

6:15am: Breakfast for everyone.

6:30am: Belle is overtired from being up so much the night before, time for nap #1! I nurse her to sleep. I nap next to her.

7:30am: Belle is up, I nurse her back to sleep and go back to sleep myself.

9am: We both wake up. Ryan stumbles into the bedroom asking if he can lay down for an hour before going to work.

9:15am: We play, color, watch TV (don't judge me!), and try to be quiet while daddy naps.

10am: Emma is allowed to "gently and quietly" wake up her daddy.

10:15am: louder playtime while Ryan gets ready for work.

10:30am: Annabelle needs nap #2 already! Ryan leaves for work. I attempt to nurse Belle to sleep for over 30 minutes while Emma runs in and out of the room crying that I'm not playing with her in the living room...

11am: Emma's naptime. Both girls are asleep!

11:12am: No shit, Belle is up. That was my break. I didn't even have a chance to brush my teeth. I inhale the sandwich Ryan made for me when he was making his own, and am on baby duty.

12:45pm: Belle is getting sleepy. Nurse to sleep.

12:55pm: Leaving our bedroom, Annabelle asleep on our bed, I hear Emma waking up from nap.

1pm: We snack as Emma tries to wake up... the poor girl has a very tough time re-orienting herself to her own existence after a nap...

1:30pm: Playtime, reading stories, coloring, watching TV (remember, no judging!!).

3pm: Annabelle wakes up, I nurse and get ready to leave the house.

3:15pm: We hurry out to a)take the dog for a long walk, b)make a Target run, c)go to the mall to play and walk, d)head to the park, e)go play at Barnes and Noble, or f)quick trip to the grocery store.

4:30pm: Hurry home, Annabelle is getting tired... I tell you this kid doesn't sleep when we're out and about and requires so much rest (to make up for lost night sleep, I'm sure) I feel stuck at home some days...

5pm: I set Emma up in the living room with the Lion King on TV, a plate full of veggies, some chicken, leftover lasagna, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk and I get Annabelle ready for bed.

5:20pm: Nursing Belle to sleep. Emma runs in and out of the room yelling and telling me to "c'mon!" I explain over and over that I'm putting Belle to sleep and if Emma is ready to go to bed, I'll be happy to do so, otherwise she needs to go back to the living room and play with her trains (her current fav).

5:40pm: Belle is asleep. I help Emma finish dinner and we have quiet play together while I start making dinner for Ryan and I.

6pm: Brush teeth and get ready for bed. Annabelle lets out a cry but usually puts herself back to sleep. I nurse Emma and put her to bed.

6:30pm: All is quiet, I finish making dinner.

6:45pm: Ryan arrives home. We eat. I work. He watches football, does fantasy football stuff, or catches up on TV or movies I don't care to watch.

7:30pm: Annabelle wakes and doesn't put herself back down. I nurse her back to sleep.

7:50pm: Back to work for me.

8:30pm: Taking a break to blog and connect with friends via social media. Zone out in front of the TV with Ryan.

9:30pm: Realize I forgot to wash diapers, start laundry, get ready for bed.

9:50pm: Annabelle is up again. Nurse back to sleep. Try to transfer her back to her basinet and she wakes. Rinse, Repeat, three or so times.

11pm: Asleep...

12am: Start it all over again.

Some days are better, most days are worse. This is my life right now. I'm doing the best I can and smiling most days.

I had intense labors and deliveries with both girls but never once said, "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" to Ryan. I find myself saying it almost daily now. I'm pretty sure it was Bill Cosby who said that parents of only children are not really parents. It's when you have more than one that you actually become a parent. I couldn't agree more. This life is so damn hard. I'm incredibly grateful for every second of it but that's really hard to remember as my back aches, my eyelids twitch, and my quality time with myself and my hubby becomes a distant memory...