Mommy Confessions

Every once in a while I feel the need to expose myself to the interwebz for who I truly am... I take that back... I'm a chronic over-sharer and you probably know more about me than you ever wanted to.

That said, today is like every other day, basically, in which I confess something horrid about myself here on my little space on the world wide web. Are you ready? Here comes my mommy confession for the day.

I hate babies.

I know, I know! I'm awful! I'm a terrible person and I don't deserve to be a mother! I feel enough internal guilt, I don't need any judgement from you because I already judge myself....  Anyway...

Okay, maybe HATE is the wrong word. I don't like babies. How's that? Less horrific?

It's true. Even my own. And I'm telling you because I'm not alone. If you're reading this and you don't like your baby, I want you to feel like you're in good company. Some of the best parents don't like babies and that's okay, even normal, if you can dare imagine that! Ever since I can remember, I haven't really been a baby person. Sure, I had baby dolls that I loved as a kid and I can remember pretending to be my hand-me-down cabbage patch kid's mommy from time to time but I NEVER oooh'd and aaah'd over other people's babies... ever. When my friends had babies or coworkers would visit during maternity leave, I was never one to coo and cuddle with the weebearn. It's just not who I am.

That's not to say I'm not maternal because I'm actually a very nurturing mother. I just don't like babies.

Recently, I was watching Oprah interview Neil Patrick Harris and his partner. Neil (who I respect as a parent) said that he didn't really "get" parenting for the first 6 to 9 months and would often hand the babies off to his partner and "go fix the crib" or something to make himself feel less ill-equipped as a parent. Well, I'm right there with ya Neil!

I hate the crying, the immobility, the lack of communication, the drooling, the spit-up, the blow-outs, the NEEDINESS of babies! I've written before about how I struggled to bond with Emma in the beginning and felt a new sense of love, adoration, and respect for her when she hit the toddler milestone. Many mothers talk about that feeling at the moment of birth but, for me, it just isn't like that.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my daughters, even the one who is presently trying to eat clumps of dog fur pulled directly out of my dog's backside, but I know I won't really like her, or like spending quality time with her, for another few months.

Bottom line, babies are hard and I'm not doing this again. I can't wait to have two little toddlers running around, chatting, singing, and getting into trouble. For me, that's so much better than the constant need for holding, shushing, nursing, rocking, night waking, and nap scheduling. I know I'm not supposed to be counting down the days of babyhood but I am. And I'm not sorry. Because I'm a great mom, despite my distaste for babies and my impatience with this stage of parenthood.

Anybody else? I know you're out there!

Holiday Deals in Skin Care

Doctor's Dermatologic Formula (DDF) is a specialized brand of skincare. They specialize in, well, specializing! They have several different luxurious lines of care to focus on anti-aging, sensitive skin, acne, and more. The ingredients they use are reported to be some of the most effective on the market and their formulas receive grand reviews from both celebrities and the rest of us!

For the holidays, or perhaps to pamper your beautiful self, DDF is offering two incredible specials. For you, friends and fans of Mother of Ambition, you can receive the Revolve 400X for just $45 (retail price is $98) with free shipping! What is the Revolve 400x, you ask?

Similar to exfoliating products that are up to FIVE times the price, here are the details straight from DDF's website:

DDF 400X Revolve Micro-Polishing System is a breakthrough device that delivers microdermabrasion results that are as effective as a professional treatment. Unlike most at-home devices that simply vibrate or oscillate, DDF Revolve 400X transmits more energy to the skin with up to 400 rotations per minute. The gentle, yet highly effective self-warming DDF Polishing Crystals and the soft Foam Exfoliator polish away surface imperfections to reveal radiant, healthy-looking skin. The kit also includes a brush head to use with the device for daily deep cleansing and to help maintain results between treatments. Includes - 1 Micro-Polisher, 2 Foam Microdermabrasion Exfoliators, 1 Deep Cleansing Brush, DDF Polishing Crystals - 2 oz. (56 g), 2 AA Batteries

Here’s deal #1:

Revolve 400x at $45 (retail price $98), free shipping.  Through Jan 31, 2013. CODE DDFMICRODERMA

Here’s your customized link for deal #1!

http://www.ddfskincare.com/home-skin-care/micro-derma/00060748005156,default,pd.html?cgid=anti-aging-restorative?cm_mmc=Blogger-_-Site-_-Site+Placement-_-0690

The second deal they're offering to us is a discount on your second purchased product. Sort of a Buy One Get One Half Off kind of deal PLUS free shipping!

Here’s deal #2:

2nd product half price, free shipping, through Jan 31, 2013DDFSKIN

Here’s your customized link for deal #2!

http://www.ddfskincare.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-DDF-Site/default/Explore-Show?cm_mmc=Blogger-_-Site-_-Site+Placement-_-0690

You'll notice that both of these offers are good until the end of January! Both of these specials are really amazing deals on reputable products that receive great reviews. In my opinion, taking care of our skin is one of the best things we can do to take care of ourselves, inside and out. As mothers, we're so quick to let our self-care slide so we can care for others so remember to give a little something to yourself! A little pampering could do us all some good!

Eco-Baby Cloth Diaper Service Review

I was recently given the opportunity to do a trial period of two weeks using Eco-Baby Cloth Diaper Service! Here's how it works, how it went for us, and my thoughts on this locally owned and operated company.

First of all, Eco-Baby Cloth Diaper Service's website is super user-friendly. You can do everything from shop for diapers and accessories to sign up for their service! Easy as that! There's a section on nighttime diapering, a place to create a registry for expectant parents, and an explanation of the benefits of cloth diapering. They also have videos and links to helpful pages for newbie cloth diapering parents.

As if that wasn't enough, the company offers classes once a month to explain the service, help parents learn to cloth diaper, and answer any questions that come up. Personally, I would have loved something like this when I first started on our cloth diapering journey! There's absolutely a learning curve when it comes to cloth diapering and in-person support from someone who knew what they were doing would have been hugely helpful.

In addition to the service's website and resources, the owner of Eco-Baby has just opened a store in Colorado Springs. Cloth Diaper Market sells everything from cloth diapers to baby carriers to natural mama products all with knowledgeable staff to support you and complementary at-your-door delivery if you're already a subscriber of the diaper service! If not, or if you live outside of the immediate area, you can purchase items online as well!

Signing up for service was easy and I received an e-mail confirmation and information about the drop-off of my diapers. They confirmed the sizes I would need for my girls and told me to expect everything to arrive just two days later. I didn't have to be home, they'd leave everything at my front door, and the same would go for pick-up a week later. I put everything outside the night before and it was gone without me even noticing they had arrived to deliver clean diapers!



If you will allow me to call a diaper gorgeous... these prefolds were gorgeous! They were whiter than white and so much softer than the prefolds we have in our existing stash! Despite being diaper service diapers, in heavy rotation and washed at crazy hot temperatures, they were in great shape and had amazing absorbability. They also provided us with a snappi fastener for each of our daughters but I prefer to trifold diapers so they went unused.

After using the service for about a day and a half, I got a call from the owner! She was making sure everything was going okay and seeing if I had any questions. We discussed a few things, one of which being the awful ammonia smell that I have in my diapers that magically wasn't happening with Eco-Baby Diaper Service's diapers! I thought it was my toddler's pee that was so fragrant, I didn't realize it was an indicator that there was detergent build-up in my diapers but this was confirmation of that! We also talked about how Emma was starting some very early potty training and they offered to give us half training pants and half diapers for her for the following week! How amazing is that? The trainers were the same bright white softness as the prefold diapers and we loved having so many on hand for our potty training adventures that week.

In terms of supplies, the diaper pail was provided along with a deodorizing disk (which was amazing!), cloth wipes (made of cotton flannel and oh-so-soft!), and a large plastic bag served as our pail liner. The diaper pail was great, just a plastic garbage container with a lid, basically, but it fit almost a week's worth of diapers for our family (a toddler and an infant). With just 2 days remaining in our week, I pulled the first bag of dirties out, tied it off with a rubber band, and stuck it in the back of the closet, putting the other provided plastic bag into the diaper pail.

  

The second week, we were approaching some holidays. I received an e-mail from the company saying that, if we were going on vacation, they'd be happy to provide a no-name natural brand of disposable diapers in place of cloth diapers for however many days were necessary. How cool is that?? You go out of town and you don't have to worry about buying diapers! We weren't headed anywhere except the in-laws' house so we didn't need any sposies but what an incredible convenience for those times when you do!

I feel like it's important to note that Eco-Baby Cloth Diaper Service is the only diaper service in Colorado that is certified by the National Association of Diaper Services. They use incredibly high temperatures and bleach to sanitize their diapers and, while they use as many natural products as possible, their detergent is not a natural product (because they reportedly don't work as well). My daughters have NEVER come in contact with bleach and have NEVER worn clothing washed in anything but natural detergents. I was worried that they might have a reaction to the diapers since they were washed with chemicals but I was pleasantly surprised when neither baby showed any skin irritation whatsoever!




Eco-Baby's website explains their washing process and their ability to have their diapers match the pH of the skin, rinsing them completely clean every time. I believe every word of their claims.

I'm sure you're wondering about the cost. Well, at under $20 per week for the first kid (with a discount for additional children), it's basically the same as buying disposable diapers. You won't save money in the beginning buuuuut.... I can tell you that kids who wear cloth diapers potty train earlier and faster than children who wear disposables so you'd end up saving some money in the end. Plus, the benefits of cloth diapering (no waste in the landfill, no scary chemicals against your child's skin, no diaper rash) are PRICELESS, if you ask me. Add to that the convenience of never having to run to the store to buy diapers AND not having to do cloth diaper laundry? This really is an amazing service.

So, how was it? It was amazing. Not having to do diaper laundry for two weeks was incredible and my husband has commented several times since the diapers went back to Eco-Baby that he misses them! He MISSES their diapers! When I asked him why, he said they're fluffy, they don't stink, and someone else washes them!

We were satisfied above and beyond expectations with Eco-Baby Cloth Diaper Service's diapers and service. They were truly a great company to work with and have a wonderful product with the customer service to back it up.

Please, check out their website or give them a call to discuss your cloth diapering future. It's well worth it!

***Disclaimer: I was provided 2 weeks standard diaper service for my 2 children free of charge in order to write this review honestly. I was not compensated and all words and opinions are my own.

Sex After Having Babies

Disclaimer: If you are a family member or friend that doesn't care to know about my sex life, come back later! You've been warned.

Let's get real. We have babies, two babies, and there is little in life that makes the motivation to make love hard to conjure up than having babies. I hear from friends and lovely ladies on the interwebz that having lots of awesome marital sex after you have a baby is a mythical ideal of sexy existence that simply doesn't happen in real life. Cue the sad music.

During my first pregnancy, Ryan and I talked about maintaining our braggable sex statistic of 5 times per week. That may sound like a lot for a married couple but, for us, it was our norm and actually a decrease since our dating years... yeah, yeah, be jealous... we're frisky like that.

Seriously though, we connect well during sex and use it to reconnect faster and more efficiently than any movie date or  romantic dinner (and who has time or money for those things anyway?). We knew that aspiring to get right back into having sex several times a week wouldn't be realistic, especially after such a traumatic birth experience with Emma, but we had no idea how hard it really was (pun semi-intended) to maintain a healthy sex life after having babies!

Emmaline was a really bad sleeper (still is sometimes, with a 5:30am wake-up call almost every day) and we were both very tired for the first few months of parenthood. As soon as we got the okay from my OB, we attempted to have regular sex but it was very challenging until our daughter started sleeping better and I started managing my time better during the day which made me feel better overall. We started exercising together when Emma was 6 months old and that flipped a switch in both of us, I think, to rekindle that very important fire.

It was then that we decided on a required minimum number of times per week that we would have sex. Instead of having a goal of 3 times per week or whatever, we had a minimum of once a week. It's completely achievable and I believe we've only missed the 6 weeks after Annabelle was born and maybe a week or two during my second pregnancy when I was feeling particularly awful.

Having a minimum is so much easier than having a lofty goal to work toward. If we exceed the minimum, that's awesome. If it gets to be Sunday night and we realize that the week passed and the weekend is nearly over and we haven't done it yet but we both feel too tired, we're doing it anyway because we have to. That's right, we.have.to.

For the first 7 seconds it feels like, "ugh... I'm so tired my eyes are burning and all I want to do is roll over onto my side and fall asleep because the baby is going to be up in an hour and then I'm going to be up every 75 minutes after that for the rest of the night and I can't imagine anything being worth sacrificing the next 7 minutes of potential sleep I could be getting right now." Everything after those first 7 seconds is awesome. Think about it, have you ever regretted having sex with your spouse? Probably not. Quickie or otherwise, sex with someone you love and want to connect with is always worth it.

With Annabelle being an even worse sleeper than her sister and with naps rarely overlapping, we're even more exhausted now than we were in the early days of her life and yet, we've raised the minimum. That's right, raising our expectations of ourselves, each other, and our marriage in order to be healthier and happier together. It's worth it. And it's not really that hard.

It's true, finding the motivation, feeling sexy, and having the energy to maintain a sex life after having babies is really hard and maybe some couples don't need to have sex with as much frequency or regularity. Good for them, I guess, but it's an integral part of our relationship and it's really important to both of us.

I've suggested the whole "once a week minimum" rule to girlfriends of mine and they say it's working for them like it has for us. I may add a chapter in my Two Under Two book on the whole idea since maintaining a relationship with your partner is hugely challenging when there are babies in the house and having two so close together is a huge strain on both parents and their relationship.

So, are you having sex after having babies? What's your secret? Or am I the only one? ; )